PEOPLE ARE FUNNY: #1

RANDOM THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS OF OUR CRAZY, QUIRKY WORLD

 

AS A NOVICE BLOGGER, I will tag this as "People are Funny", so hopefully those archaeologists (if such still exist) who stumble across this post as they troll through digital archives a thousand years from now, trying to understand what the fuck we were all doing here, might be helped somewhat by a more orderly listing.

1.      SEX: I ran across in some old notes of mine some very important statistics: The average length of time that people engage in sexual intercourse is 24.4 minutes. The global average for the number of sexual encounters per year is 102. The Canadian annual average is 112 times per year! Go Canada!

     Now, I don’t know exactly when I copied out these stats; it might have been in the 90s  or early ‘aughts’. So, the question is: have the averages gone up or down? Hmmm… So much to know, so little time!
And the latest, according to David Frum in his 2018 book, Trumpocracy:

 Millennials were having less sex than their elders. The percentage of people in their twenties neither married nor cohabitating rose from 52 percent in 2004 to 64 percent in 2014....Despite the agitations and anxieties of their disapproving elders, millennials are not doing much "hooking up"...

I guess, despite flowered shirts, seedy weed, and disco balls, the 70s look pretty good right about now! Keep on truckin'!

2.      SERIAL KILLERS.  These guys (mostly guys, sorry ladies!) are top of mind as inspirations for time management techniques and body-dump selection skills. And don’t you think we all could do with a little more chill and psychopathology in our relationships?  You’ve got to hand it to Toronto’s own Bruce McArthur (hey, we have serial killers up here too, you know), who made the news this spring, when it was discovered he had been planting the remains of his victims in large flower pots at various properties he’d landscaped over the years. Creative. And ecologically sensitive. He must have quite the green thumb. (Or several.)
    

     Another Captain Nuttbar I recall reading about, maybe 20 years ago, was a taxicab driver from Tehran, Iran, named Ali Reza Khoshruy Kuran Kordiyeh, who had the economical idea of murdering his fares for a living. (And how’s that for time-management! He could work at what he loved doing most in the world while on the job!) When he was finally brought to justice, his last words were to the effect that he goes his maker with a clear conscience (Who's his maker? Dr. Frankenstein?) And just before he's hanged, he says that he leaves this world without debts, that he owes no one any money. (No doubt his fares left him hefty tips!)

     Well, good for you, Ali! How many of us can make that claim, these days! He made sure to debit all his credits. Right on. Sigh.... Flower pots and good credit ratings--serial killers have quite the different take on things, don't they? [In the above photo, Robert De Niro didn't play a serial killer in Taxi Driver, but he sure looks like one!]

     Cheers, Jake