BIRDS OF A FEATHER

  

 

FROM THE VAULT:

File: xxx-xxxx-xx-x. 26/09/25

MI-6/Mossad cranial dialogue intercept 

during United Nations General Assembly 

Opening Sessions. 

22 September 2025. New York. 

Utilizing MK-ULTRA INTRA-CRANIAL BRAINSPY^© 

SOFTWARE. TOP SECRET >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

TARGETS:

 

—Ahmed al-Sharr: (a.k.a. Abu Mohammad al-Julani; a.k.a. “Head-chopper”) Member of Isis. Spent five years in Iraqi prison on terrorism charges. Moved to Syria and was the founding member of al-Nustra Front in early 2010s. Broke away from al-Nustra in 2016 to start his own terrorist group, “Hay'at Tahrir al-Sham (HTS)” in Syria, in opposition to the Assad government. Became president of Syria in 2025. (Ahmed)

 

—David Petraeus: served 37-years in U.S. army. Served in Iraq and oversaw “The Surge” operation, 2003-2005; Commander of Central Command (“Centcom”) in Afghanistan; Commander of NATO forces in Afghanistan, 2008-10; Dir. of CIA, 2011-12; resigned due to extra-marital affair posing a potential security risk; retired as four-star general. Partner in KKR, a global investment firm since 2013. (Dave)

 

Dave: Wow! Meeting Ahmed, again. After all these years. I wonder if he remembers me? My boys caught him and put him away for five years. Nothing I could do about that. I hope he’s not still angry at me. Man! President Trump was right. He’s grown up into an 'attractive, tough guy'. A real raghead to riches story. Gawd! I can smell his man musk from here. Can’t let that distract me. Focus, Dave! Ask him a question so you don’t look like a star-struck schoolgirl. Take charge. You were a general in the United States Army, damn it! Ask him. Anything! “Ah, Ahmed. I should say, ‘Mister President’. Ha-Ha! You fought… ahem, for the most part, on the right side... [Polite laughter from audience] for some years. Most recently, you’ve joined forces with other militias in Syria, along with assistance from Türkiye. Even Israel helped. Then you defeated Bashir Assad’s criminal regime in what seemed like an afternoon. The dictator’s army collapsed like a wet tent when fronted by your forces. How does it feel to go from being a terrorist with a ten-million dollar bounty on your head to become Syria’s president in so short a time?”

Ahmed: Kaffir! Infidel! Betraeus. Look at him—a bowl of decrepitude. He comes sniffing around me like a dog in heat. Pah! I could gut him in an instant and lop off his tiny head like a skin tag! Where is the brave general now? He comes to me. Me! He ask me questions, and I answer. We sit, have polite talk. Yada-yada-yada. The audience—unbelievers all. I curse them! They clap hands when the studio light goes on like trained seals in circus. These Americans! Dogs barking in a kennel, unaware they will soon be put down. “Well, Davidz. I call you dis, okay? Dave, is like dis: You know toy the childs call ‘kaleid-o-scopes’, yes?”

Dave: “I think so. Go on.”

Ahmed: “You look insides and turn dial. Bits of coloured glass spin rounds. Is pretty. But, David, you never get big picture, just bits of coloured glass spinning in tube. Is like dat. Are you understand what I means?”

Dave: “I think so, Ahmed. You’re saying the only way you can get any perspective in life, is if you look outside the tube, from ‘the earth to the sky’ as they say in the Holy Book. But, what did you see when you look..looked up from the tube, beyond the tumbling, coloured glass?”  Gawd! My nutts are tighter than Scrooge at Christmas! Why does he have such an effect on me? After all this time. I thought I would be in charge. Me! But it’s him. I feel lost. Out of my depth.

Ahmed: His haunches are like third wife Asheedora—smooth, silky. He has hair in strange places, but not hairball like Ashee’s vale of paradise, thank the Prophet! He has  a mole on hip that look like blessed teta's [grandmother] face. His flanks are flabby. He has gut. Ha! Don't we all! His breath bad. He smell old. He old man. His thighs remind me of second wife, Frasha. Stringy. Both are weak. Frail. Like kittens kicked to curb. He need thrashing like I give First Wife Alorah. She is a trial. A pox on my house! Such a tongue on her! I should cut it out. Someday, I strap martyr pack on her. Then who boss, eh? God willing.

Dave: “Ahmed, what do you see when you look outside your tube? Where has his mind gone to. He seems miles away. Does he remember our time together all those years ago? He looks at me, his eyes wide. So deep! I feel like I’m falling again… for him. Again…

Ahmed: “Ha!” What I see? I see is great general spread-eagle on bed, beggings me to mount him like dirty sheep Yousef and me use to ride in Tal’at Musa foothills as childs. I make him scream like cat in alleyways. “GeneraI Betraeus, I see my Syria strong and free, and democratics beacon of light for all Middle East.” He like such talk. They all do. Infidels! Audience clap-clap. What dey nos about anytings?

Dave: I can’t stand this! My little soldier is so hard I could split my pants. I pray the studio lights go out before I have to stand up. I’ll write him a note. Give him my phone number. Maybe we could go for a non-alcoholic drink? Share old times. What’s wrong with that. I know what he’s like, what he’s done. It doesn’t matter. He’s changed. We both have. Life is too short, too precious to waste. I know he feels the same. “That’s admirable, Ahmed…truly wonderful, I….” [General Petraeus stops talking, utters a guttural cry before collapsing on the floor in a series of spasms. END OF TRANSCRIPT😀

 

 Cheers, Jake. ____________________________________

 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: CALVARY (2014)

 

 

"IT'S A STORY ABOUT FORGIVENESS, change and renewal.

In the beginning, yes, Father James meets a series of unrelentingly awful people, all of whom he suspects of wanting to kill him. None of them are worthy of Father James' comfort and he chooses to abandon his vocation.

Except he realises that the millionaire Michael is simply hurting. When Father James recognises Michael's genuine pain and asks for forgiveness from his daughter, he realises again the importance of his life, work and the power of spirituality to bring comfort to those lost and seemingly damaged.

That is why he returns. And that is why Fiona seems ready to open up and at least listen to the murderer of her father.

The film argues that salvation and forgiveness is possible for even those who themselves believe that they have crossed a moral precipice. The murderer thinks that the church is beyond redemption and needs to be destroyed. Father James believed that people are beyond lost and need to be abandoned. The film argues that both views are wrong and it is only through change that we can begin to heal and stop hurting others (and ourselves).” (Sharaz__Jek)

 

 STATEMENT OF INTENTION

 

Sharaz__Jek, in the above Reddit column, provides us with a helpful synopsis of Calvary. And, here, I would only add a couple of points: Early in the movie, Father James Lavelle, a priest in the small town of Easkey in northwest Ireland, receives a parishioner’s confession. We don’t see who it is, but what he says is shocking, detailing how, as a child, he was sexually abused by his parish priest, whose crimes were never exposed. The parishioner has harboured a deep hatred and loathing for the Catholic church and its clergy since that time. Decades later, he yearns for revenge and announces in the confessional that he will kill Father James in one week. His is not a confession, it is a statement of intent. He chose Father James because he is a “good” priest, and his revenge would be more complete, in his eyes, because of that fact. The movie chronicles the last days of Father James’s life.

I CONFESS (no pun intended) that Calvary was a bit of a surprise. I thought I would be seeing the stereotypical Irish priest we are so accustomed to see on film—brusque, a bit of a tippler, having the gift of the gab, acts as a spiritual lighting rod, and is a solver of problems big and small within his parish. Father James, on the other hand, is a recovering alcoholic. He has come to his vocation late in life following the death of his wife. He has an adult daughter, Fiona, herself plagued by a life of bad choices and relationships, and she has recently attempted suicide. The two have been estranged for years, with Father James critical of her lifestyle and her attempts at suicide which, according to church teachings, is a mortal sin. Fiona visits James during this time hoping for a reconciliation between them. At one point she says his alcoholism during her childhood alienated her, as did his later vocation which proved a barrier rather than a bridge between them.

 

IN THE MOVIE, the dialogue is rich and the banter plentiful with humorous asides, quips and witticisms from the townspeople and Father James. But there is an element of malice beneath the words. The dialogues invariably tend toward criticism, veiled and demonstrable, or ridicule, disbelief even anger with, and disparaging assessments of, the Church and Father Jame’s vocation. These last days prove to be his Calvary. I agree with Sharaz when they say Father James has lost his vocation. By this point, he sees his parishioners as irredeemable; they will do what they will with their lives despite his advice, spiritual and otherwise, and there is little he can do to change their ways. His relationship with them has become pro forma, a perfunctory gesture, formulaic, futile. And they know it. Perhaps another way of putting it is that he has lost his love for his fellow man. One example of this is when he visits a deranged murderer in prison who says he wants to confess. After listening to him, Father James tells the killer that to make a genuine confession one must be truly contrite, something he deems lacking in the killer, who he leaves to his madness without performing the Confessional rite. However, it is shortly afterwards that he has a heart-felt talk with Fiona. They reconcile after he asks her to forgive him for not understanding—for not trying to understand—the depths of her despair and for not engaging with her when she needed him most— growing up and as a young adult. In an emotionally charged scene the two express their love for the other and Father James is heartbroken when she returns to Dublin.

The final straw that breaks him is an accusation that he was attempting to ‘groom’ a young girl he met on a walk to the beach. He is undone by this experience and falls into a deepening “dark night of the soul” with his spiritual life and the secular world around him never more at loggerheads. He goes to the village pub and begins drinking. The village doctor, an ardent atheist and perhaps the most “unrelentingly awful” of all the people Father James encounters, tells Father James a horrific tale of a young patient whose prognosis post-treatment is a "living hell". The priest is shattered and asks the doctor why would he tell him such a terrible story. The doctor doesn’t answer but the subtext is clear: What kind of God would make a child suffer so? How can you believe in such a God? There is no God.What say you to that, priest?  Enraged by yet another assault on his vocation and beliefs, Father James nearly attacks the doctor. Instead, he drinks far into the night, shoots-up the bar with a revolver*, and ends battered and bloodied in a brawl with the tavern keeper.

 

FORGIVENESS

   

THE NEXT DAY, he decides he will quit the priesthood and flee from his rendezvous with death. He drives to the regional airport for a flight to Dublin. There he meets the wife of a tourist who’d died in Easkey. Earlier in the week Father James had performed the Last Rites for him as he lay comatose in hospital. Accompanying her late-husband's coffin, she says she is taking her husband “home”. The young widow had a quiet dignity and unwavering faith in God and the Church, and as devastated as she was, nevertheless she says she will “keep going on”. As they talk, the two watch from inside the terminal as her husband’s coffin is loaded by baggage handlers into the plane's cargo hold like..well, baggage. The lack of reverence, of any regard for the transcendent in the modern world, the cold, secular world filled with cynics, skeptics, unbelievers, idolaters, and haters was encapsulated in that quiet scene at the airport.

 

INSPIRED by her faith and her will to persevere, Father James returns to Easkey to resume his pastoral duties. On the morning of his death, he phones Fiona to talk to her one last time. He says there has been too much talk of sin and not enough about virtue. Asked what he thought was the greatest virtue, he replies "forgiveness". Each then forgives the other and Father James leaves the rectory for the last time and walks to his final destination.

As he walks through town he encounters Gerald, the elderly American writer, who asks if he can join him on his walk. Father James says no, given what he is about to face. Gerald takes it as a rebuff and turns to walk away, but Father James asks him if he’s finished his book. Gerald says yes but he wasn’t sure if it was any good. Father James said it will be “extraordinary” and that Gerald was a very fine writer, cheering the old man greatly. As with Fiona, Father James gives solace and affirms the Gerald’s value and sanctity in the world. 

 

HE WALKS TO THE CLIFFS overlooking the wild Atlantic and tosses the gun away; he will go unarmed to meet his executioner. There, he encounters Michael, a wealthy banker who contemplates suicide because life has no meaning for him anymore. Father James consoles him, embracing him, and promises he will come by his home later to talk with him. Another soul is touched, another spirit lifted by the priest who has learned that his greatest goal is to honour others, to understand and accept who they are and to love them unconditionally.

 

FINALLY, he walks to the beach where we see a figure approaching. It is the town butcher, Jack Brennan. Here, I disagree with Sharez__Jek. I think Father James knew all along it was Jack who would come for him. It makes sense of some of the looks, venom, and veiled threats passing between the two in the days leading up to the priest’s murder. Father James tells Jack it’s not too late, that he doesn’t have to kill him. Jack disagrees saying it’s ordained, unstoppable. He's wrong, of course, there are always choices that can be made.The priest looks at Jack, refusing to look away as the butcher raises his revolver. Father James's gaze is open, accepting what will come and, at the same time, accepting Jack unconditionally, loving him even as Jack murders him. Jack cannot meet the priest's gaze and turns away as he pulls the trigger.

The movie ends with short depictions of the people whose lives Father James had touched. Most seem to be living much as before. It is with Fiona, Gerald, Michael, the young altar boy who witnesses the shooting and, perhaps, Jack that moments  of grace are achieved.¹

 

The final scene is of Fiona visiting Jack in prison. She is seated in the glassed-off booth with a phone link prisoners use to talk with their visitors. She is calm, her gaze is tearful, and like her father’s, it is open, accepting. She will listen to him without reservation. Jack is terrified of her, barely able to approach the booth and sit. (I had the image of a devil, brought from the dark depths to the surface, blinded by the light of a world he had long ago abandoned.) What frightens Jack the most, I think, is he knows she will forgive his unforgivable act. And then where will he be? What will he be? The road to redemption is always there even if it can be a difficult and rocky one.

 

MY APOLOGIES for the length of this review. I kept trying to describe the movie (some gorgeous scenery, BTW). I could have simply said it’s a good watch, all-in-all.

 

CHEERS, JAKE.

_____________________________________ 

 

* At the beginning of the movie, Father James drops off some groceries to Gerald Ryan, an elderly American novelist who is writing a book in a cottage near town. He asks Father James for a gun with the unspoken purpose of using it to end his life if he were to become disabled. Father James said he would try to get him one. He does but, instead, keeps the revolver. He clearly means to keep it for self-protection against his would-be assassin.  Which is why he had a gun with him at the pub. 

👉It also reminds the viewer that Father James is on his own spiritual journey. He is human, with all the fralities and faults that entails. On his late night drive back from the airport he accepts the fact that he will face his own Golgotha the next day and he quietly prepares for whatever is to come.

 

1. Not everyone in town is changed by their relationship with Father James. Not everyone accepts or seeks unconditional love or expresses it. Moments of grace, the film tells us, are few and far between in life; they should be cherished and encouraged whenever they occur.

 

👉For GoT fans: Doctor Frank Harte (a misnomer if ever there ever was one), who believes in the sanctity of no one, is a cold and heartless character. An ending tableau after Father James’s murder has the good doctor standing in an autopsy room. He is smoking a cigarette. There is a stainless-steel bowl on the counter in front of him containing what looks like a human heart and upon which he butts out his cigarette. He is someone you’d like to punch in his stupid face, if truth be told.

But FYI, the actor portraying Dr. Harte played Littlefinger in GoT, also someone you’d like to punch in the face.

 

P.S. I just had an annoying thought: Are we to assume the heart is Father James’s?  Conceivably the priest could have been autospied in Easkey by Dr. Harte who sees human beings as machines that eventually break down, no more, no less. And no matter how he might ‘excavate’ Father James’s body, he will never encounter the priest's soul, nor come to regard his own.

 

 

P.P.S. A nice touch in the film is this landscape shot of Father James's altar boy painting the seascape in the moments before the priest is murdered. While Jack strides along the beach to meet his fate, Father James simply waits. The boy's painting is unfinished, the future is open, the last dab of colour has yet to be applied, if at all. Free will and choice are always at play; nothing is pre-ordained as Jack believes.
 

 

 

ANOTHER BRAIN PAN EXCURSION

 

“To hold as 'twere the mirror up to nature: to show virtue her feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure." (Ham. 3.2.21-24 )

 

 

    "Think, Voloda! Think!"

👉MI6/CIA/SBU/MOSSAD INTERCRANIAL INTERCEPT USING MK-ULTRA BRAINSPY^© SOFTWARE—

SUBJECT: Volodymyr Zelensky (“Voloda”, “Vovo”) >>> 20 September 2025

TITLE/JOB DESCRIPTION: None. Term in office ended May, 2024. Rules by dictat.

LOCATION: A bunker 200 feet below a local 7-11 store. Kiev, Ukraine.

STATUS: So-so.

VENUE: Recording his daily presidential press release. >>>

 

 

 

 

 

 VZ: Why? Why I listen to dease basturdz? Why I go Londun on weekendz? Talk to Kiers, Manny and Mertzie? [British PM Sir Kier Starmer, French President Emmanuel Macron, German Chancelor Fredrich Mertz] My three amigos. Bah! What dey knows? No-nuthing dummies!...

DIRECTOR: “Ahem. AHEM! Mister President. Quiet on the set! All right, Mister DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." [Director jokes with President Zelensky]

VZ: Fuck you, Billy Wilder! Nixba! I pick you up. Take you with me. You make ad for kiddie cerealz before I come. “What's my motivation, Mister Director? Where is my emotional centrez? You never tellz me! Never directing me. Why do I say what I sayz? How I give speech when you don’tz tell me what is I need think in scene?  Directz me, Anton! Please!”

DIRECTOR: “Know your lines and don’t bump into the furniture.”

VZ: “Thank a lot! I standing at podium. Big deal.”

DIRECTOR: “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world she walks into mine.”

VZ: “Yeah-yeah.” Big dealz. Bogartz. Casablanca. Nineteens and forty twos. Warners Brodher. Director Michaels Curtis; Hall Wallis production. You still lousy director. “Okay, okay. What are my lines? Why nothing on teleprompterz? What I say?”

DIRECTOR: “Water is more precious than gold. Could someone please get the President a drink of water.”

VZ: “Yah-yah. Tanks, Anton. [A grip brings President Zelensky a glass of water and two Alka Seltzer tablets.] "My head explode like Russian bomb.”

DIRECTOR: “Annalena, again?”¹

VZ: “Barebacks, yah. And Mertzie, too. He likes watch. Man, I sore all over. I feel like punching bagz. Anna say she hate new job as United Nations Gen’rals Assemble president. She say no one know who she is in New Yorkz”. I say, ‘You lucky move to Big Apples! You got lots of evertings’. But she just spank me harder. And let me tellz you, after….”

DIRECTOR: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.”

VZ: Huh? "Yeah. Whateverz. Hey, when we get this party started, baby!” Boy, I need stiff drink–like yesterdayz!

DIRECTOR: “Well, turn that frown upside down, Mister President….Sosha! [Speaks to makeup girl behind camera] “Sosha, do something with the President’s nose. It’s all red and shiny, again. [Sosha walks across the set and applies talc powder to the president’s nose.]

VZ: “Achoooz! Achoooz! Ahh! Godz mee bless. Thank you, Sosha. Yaah. Das better.” [Sotto voce] Say, Sosha. Sosha, how olds you? How long you works for production companyz? Why I no see you befores?

SOSHA: “Eighteen. I’m eighteen, Mister President. Almost. I’ve only just started as an intern. I want some experience before I apply to university.”

VZ:  Wham, bam! Thank you mam! How dat for experience? “My-my. Eighteen! I have daughter, my sweet Oleksandra, jus’ three-year old than you. She at universityz, too. In Paris. You just girlz. My-my. Tell me, do you go schoolz still?” Sosha is one hoochie-coochie gal! Wow! She a slow boil, but when heatz up—look out, babez!

SOSHA: I’m going to university next year after I finish high school. I want to study film making. I want to be a director like my dad, Mister President.”

VZ: “You could be in movie, Sosha. Your dad, he is director? What name, Sosha? Maybe I knowz him. And call me Voloda. Not so formal here in bunker. Ha-ha” Mmm. Soon I rub cocoa-nuttz butter all overs her. “Ha-ha.” How I get her to come to President Palace after shootz?  Olena is in Paris, shopping. While harpy away, the mice they playz.  

SOSHA: “Ha-ha” [Sosha, nervously]. “You should know him, Mister Pres…Voloda. I came in with him for this morning’s shoot to help out.…”

VZ: “Sosha! You mean Anton Sebrinsky is father! Our Director is Sosha’s papa! Ho-ha-ha! Hoh… Hmmm.” [To Director] “Antonz, why you no tell me you have such pretty daughterz? And so smart!”

DIRECTOR: "With all due respect, Sir, you're beginning to bore the hell out of me."

VZ: “Wait! I knows dis one. Yah-yah, is Clin Eastwoodz. He playz Gunny from Heartbreaks Ridge movie. Nineteens and…eight-Sixes. Warner Brodher! Hah!” Oye! Anton is her papa! I need be carefulz. He has temper and he big guy.  I have getz Sosha away from set. How? Think, Voloda! Think! [President Zelensky writes a brief note and hands it to Sosha as she finishes powdering his nose. She quickly puts it in her pocket.]

VZ: [To Director] “There, Anton. How my nose? Sosha do good jobz? Ha-ha! Letz get shoot finish!”

DIRECTOR: [Indicates the filming shoot is behind schedule] “If he has the time, Doctor. If he has the time.”

VZ: “Okay, Spock. Let’s go! I got things to do like fight Putin. Pah! [The President spits] Ha-ha! Thank you, Sosha. [She returns behind camera] Goodz girl. Don’t show daddy note. Just you-me, baby! I wish I get with Opa Trump same. Maybe canoodle him againz. He like Voloda. He say so in private. Not so much in public dease days. He ride Voloda bareback all night longz. Hah-hah! Ouch! Maybe he givez me more monies. Same for Manny and Stammer. They all like Voloda. Rough trade boys they think they are. Dey blow razzberries at Putin. Das all. They just sissy pants. “Anton, my lines still no up on teleprompt. What I say to Ukrainee people so they don’t hate me? Ha-ha!” Or so Azov guys don’t shoot me. Godsdamn!

DIRECTOR: “I seek not to know the answers, but to understand the questions.”

VZ: Huh? “Hey sensi, still nothink on screen.”

DIRECTOR: “Patience, young  grasshopper.”

[The teleprompter boots with the President’s scrolling address to the Ukrainian people. The President clears his throat and begins reading his daily briefing.]

VZ: Same-o, same-o. Blahblahblah. More money, more fight. Ukraine will win. Hah! Right motherfucker! I need getz out from Dodge before sheriff come. But, for now—speak to camera like I understand what I say. Be firm. Stand straight, Voloda. Serious face now. And tonightz, Sosha come for sleep over! Oh yeah, babyz!

 

👉MI6/CIA/SBU INTRACRANIAL INTERCEPT USING MK-ULTRA BRAINSPY^© SOFTWARE—

SUBJECT: Volodymyr Zelensky (“Voloda”, "Vovo") >>> 20 December 2025

TITLE/JOB DESCRIPTION: None. Term in office ended in May 2024. Rules by dictat.

LOCATION: Cafeteria in private wing of Presidential Palace.

VENUE: Having coffee after assignation with ingénue.

 

SOSHA: “You know I love you, Vovo. I know you love me. Can’t you see our age difference doesn’t matter?”

VZ: “My sweet girlz…

SOSHA: You made me a woman, Vovo! How can anything that feels so good be so wrong?”

VZ: “Not wrong, darlingz. But if people know about us, dey not understandz. Tonight, I meet with my three amigo* and I hope they bring me Christmas surprise: Cash. Or soldiers to fight. Hah! If they come empty-handed, I stick firecracker up asses and light ‘em up! Oh yeah! So, you needz go home until they gone…no, waitz. Olena and Oleksandra come home for holidays soon. Let me calls you on burner phonez. We go hotel. Is private. Clean sheet. No bugs—unless Mossad or CIA plant one. Ha-ha! No-no. I know owner, he mums-the-word for right price. You still have wig, for disguise. Sunglasses? White cane? Good.” How I get out of dis mess? If I break off with Sosha, she will tell father and Anton will come down on me like tons of bricks.

SOSHA: “Darling, my love is like a flower and you its only seed. Why can’t we be free to love and live with whoever we want?!”

VZ: “Whoa now, sweetheart. I president of Ukrainee. We at war with Ruskies an…”

SOSHA: “Well, whose fault is that?”

VZ: “Huh? Sweetness and Light, what means you ‘whose’ fault? Putin invades Ukraine in 2022. His fault. Maybe you too young to remember.”

SOSHA: “I remember plenty! Oh, Vovo. Is this our first fight? Just like a regular couple! I love you!" [Kisses the president’s face several times] "Dearest, you took the bait from Boris Johnson and the United States. They gave you money and weapons and you thought you could win a war with Russia. How sad."

VZ: "Hey, we still can."

SOSHA: Oh, Vovo, what am I going to do with you?"

VZ: “Ha-ha!” What mean she by dis? Why all womens I go bed with say same thing? ‘Cept my Annalena. But she spank me so hard I no sit for week. She think Ukraine win war. And as president of United Nation Gen’rals Assemble she should know. Maybe I make mistake with Sosha….

SOSHA: “Penny for your thoughts.”

VZ: Eh? “Whoa Nellies! My thought worth weight in gold, Sweetie! Ha-ha!”

SOSHA: “And why do you have to meet with those horrid EU politicians again. They don’t care about you or Ukraine. They just want to keep their jobs, keep the war going. If elections were held today in their countries they would be wiped out like layno on a doormat. They couldn't get elected town dog-catchers!”

VZ: “Well, hey, they likes me, Soso. We have good time. Shoot breeze, make plans, play some pool, drink whisky…”

SOSHA: Vovo, they despise you. Can’t you see? Do you think the EU likes Ukraine? All Brussels wants is to keep the money for weapons flowing. Mertz says he wants to expand his country’s weapons production. Fewer Mercedes, more Tiger tanks. Same goes for France and Britain. Grow their economies by making bombs and missiles. Sell weapons, drones—whatever—to Ukraine and everywhere else. More soldiers die. Pretend Russia will invade Europe. Make a country that has the world’s largest nuclear weapons stockpile a permanent enemy. That doesn't sound like a good idea, does it? But the military industry stocks go up, and it’s a yippee-ki-yay-o merry-go-round of death. Can’t you see, my Love? They’re using you.”

VZ: Holy shit! How I get mixed up with this broad? She crazy!

SOSHA: [Excitedly] “Vovo, come away with me. We could go to some small selo, change our names, start a new life there. Why not? What will all the money you take from the Americans and Europeans do for you except paint a bullseye on your back. You don’t need this. They don’t need or want you. They'll chew you up then spit you out. Let’s go today. Right now!”

VZ: “I can’t, Sweetness. Ukrainee calls me to this duty.” And if EU gets hold of Russian frozen assets: tree hundreds billionz euros, I made in shade, baby! Hey? How she know all this? She not finish high school yet. She scary smart or bat shit crazy.

SOSHA: [Near tears] “Vovo, I knew you would say this. You just can’t let go of the golden ring, can you? Darling, I told my father about us. I begged him to help you leave the clutches of those Azov Nazis and the bureaucrats in Brussels and that senile American president who can't make up his mind to call it a day…”

VZ: Huh?! "You did  what, Soso?! You tell papa about us. Why?! What he say what he do?”

SOSHA: “You’ll have to ask him; he’s here now.” [Director enters cafeteria]

VZ: Oh. Hi, Anton. We just have coffeez. Want some?”

Director: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

VZ: “Oh, come on, Anton. We all grown-ups here. Mostly.”

DIRECTOR: “You hear me talking, hillbilly boy, I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your ass!”

VZ: Come on, Anton. You can’t do that. I president of Ukrainee (more or less, but why quibbles.) I your president, buddyz.

DIRECTOR: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”

VZ: "Sosha! Sosha! What 'aves you done!"

SOSHA: "I'm sorry, my Love. But we'll always have Paris." 

 

>>>> end of transmission end of transmission end of transmission end of transmission end of transmission

 

CHEERS, JAKE. _______________________________________ 

 

*  Shakespeare, William, et al. The Riverside Shakespeare. Houghton Mifflin, 1974.

 

1. Annalena Baerbock, crazy Green Party member served as Germany's Federal Minister for Foreign Affairs from December 2021 until May 2025. Currently serving as President of the UN General Assembly (aka  "360 Baerbock").