JUNE CRINGE PIC: UKRAINE’S ZELENSKY: THE GIFT THAT JUST KEEPS ON GIVING

 

  

    Co-joined twins attend NATO summit

HE WASN'T INVITED to the NATO summit at The Hague this week but he came anyway. The diminutive Ukrainian president gained entrance to the defence confab via the venue’s restaurant and “dumbwaiter” lift. He surprised attendees as he yelled a hearty, “Hello, guys! I made it!” during the lunch break when he arrived alongside trays of the popular Dutch dessert, stroopwafles and cream.

FOR the first time in over three years, Ukraine spending was not front and centre for the septuagenarian defence alliance founded in 1949. President Zelensky crashed the party came to remind everyone that he was still relevant and that his country needed infusions of guns and money to keep the Slavic giant (Russia) at bay.

The above pic is of President Zelensky and the lanky, melon-headed NATO chief Mark Rutte. The two were inseparable for the remainder of the conference which had as its major ‘takeaway’ the decision for the thirty-two member states to increase their defense budgets to 5% of annual GDP by 2035.* 

👉And for the first time since 2022 there was no mention of Ukraine’s future membership in NATO, something the Trump administration opposes.

  

 

FIVE EYES INTELLIGENCE NETWORK (U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, N.Z.)

Intra-cranial Intercept (ICI) Division

Target Location: NATO Summit: 24 June 2025

The Hague, Netherlands

KEY:

Mark Rutte (MR)

Volodymyr Zelensky (VZ)

 

MR: “I am so much tall than dis toad. My head is twice bigger of his. My brain is bigger. Everything of me is bigger dan Vova! I could squash him like a bug! He is so needy. So desperate. And yet, there is somethink abouts him that is so…attracting. He clutches onto me for der cameras and follow me everywhere, even to washrooms. I am just use to him, I guess, like that bad smell you get use to until it becomes part of your life. But what then that make me? I can’t tells where he stop and I begins. I am so confuse, so intertwine with dis Ukraine devil! To be alones wit him, even for jus one hours. What I wouldn’t give!”

 

VZ: “Dey all cocksuckerz! Dey try keeps Vova from partyz? Nah! Dey doanz! I comez. I herez! I smilez witz Ruttez. Dutch dummyz! He thinkz he so mucky-muck. Look downz all time on mez. I shake his handz and whatever. His hand clamyz and his breath bad. I smilez. Make pokey-pokes wit him maybe laterz. We see. I shakes everybody handz. Even big prick Trump. Smelly, old manz! Like my Oppa. Pah! All dees big shot, they sayz dey spenz more on weaponz. Good. Then they give more to Vova! I dooz what I haff tooz to get moneyz for Ukraines and me. I am Volodymyr the First, Kingz of Ukrainee. I no am some clownz to makes laffz at circus! They will payz to makes laffs at Vova. You see. Oh yaz!  I send my tough guys to their countries. Take in Ukrainee refugees. My guys make troublez in their countries. Car bombz, drone attacks. Hey, why not? Jus’ blame Russians. So, send more moneyz to Vova to keep Bear in cage. Or else! Or I send someone to break kneecaps like Tony Soprano. Yah, surez!”

 

The 5-👀 ICI installation recorded all summit attendees’ thought waves and found most were conflicted by a deep revulsion for the Ukrainian president alongside a sickly attraction. Zelensky, for his part, was critical, even contemptuous of all attendees but he also had erotic attractions to many. Significantly, he had very strong, sadomasochistic fantasies about the U.S. president such that President Trump's Secret Service detail was alerted.

ICI recorded attendees’ resolve to rearm their countries so they can unite as a powerful European military ready to combat the Russian Federation in the scheduled anticipated 2030 war, even if the social safety net Europeans (and Canadians) have known since the end of WWII might fray under the burdening costs of rearmament. Most attendees spent considerable time thinking about how to pad their investment portfolios with additional defence industry stocks before the NATO summit’s final communique went public announcing the 5% annual defence spending target for the alliance.

Attendees’ thought patterns were within proscribed limits and functioned as expected.

 

 

Cheers, Jake. ____________________________________

 

* PM Mark Carney announced that by 2035 Canada’s budget for military spending (including weapons, ports, infrastructure, services, salaries, cyber security, ETC.) would increase by 150-billion dollars per year, and since he won’t be around we can just keep printing money, they’ll be no consequences or downside for our standard of living or social cohesion infrastructure.