RANT: RENDEZVOUS IN KIEV

 

"Left, right, left, ri...Manny, keep up! Olaf! No goose-stepping! Guys, we can do this! Left, right, lef..." 

LAST MONTH, Chrystia Freeland announced she was quitting Canadian politics, and Canada, to take an ‘unpaid’ position as “economic advisor” to Ukraine’s president Volodymyr Zelensky, until she begins her new job as CEO of the Rhodes Trust, “a global educational trust” in Oxford, England in July. The trust administers the Rhodes scholarship, a prestigious award granted to scholars around the world to do their post-graduate studies at Oxford University. I won’t throw too much shade here because I don’t know much about the award other than it was established in his 1902 by Cecil Rhodes, British imperialist and colonizer bar none, who named southern African territory after himself (Rhodesia), and having done his level best to hoover up all the wealth from what is now Zimbabwe and Zambia. In his 1902 will, Rhodes established the educational trust, also bearing his name, turning the vast fortune he made in the gold and diamond mines of South Africa to better use than he ever did.

Freeland is a Rhodes Scholar and has said she is looking forward to returning to her old stomping grounds at Oxford. Chrystia, don’t let the door hit you on the way out! 

Regardless of her educational pedigree (or, perhaps because of it), Chrystia metamorphosed into a globalist, World Economic Forum (WEF) acolyte, and Klaus Schwab groupie. In her role as finance minister, she was the wunderkind behind freezing the assets and bank accounts of protestors and supporters during 2022’s Canadian Trucker demonstrations against the repressive Covid-19 policies enacted by Justin Trudeau's Liberal government. Her policies broke the back of those uppity truckers and their supporters. Nice work, Chrystia!

Freeland is of Ukrainian heritage, and not surprisingly she strongly supported the Trudeau government’s 22-billion dollars in cash and assistance to the Zelensky regime since the start of Russia’s “special military operation.” She knows where the aid money has gone, which puts her in good stead to rake in dough from brain-dead Europeans who still think throwing good money after bad is the bees' knees of fiscal policy, especially money for its proxy par excellence, Ukraine. Ninety billion dollars or more—money borrowed by the EU with principal and interest paid for by EU citizens—is set to sink further into the Ukraine money pit over the next two years. And Chrystia will work with President Zelensky to squirrel away scads of money into offshore accounts stabilize Ukraine’s finances, at least for the time being, directing incoming aid money for a country that will soon enough be little more than a landlocked rump state, with investors (public and private) betting a losing hand that it will remain whole and not become “uninvestible” going forward. But, these two (Zelensky and Freeland) have it made in the shade. 

Ukraine, you are more than welcome to her. Hopefully, someday, she’ll find a harmless role to play like the one former PM Justin Trudeau has adopted as Katy Perry’s “handbag”.

 

SBU/CIA COMPROMAT  OPERATION  

FILE #12-26 do not copy

TOOL : MK-ULTRA  “EAVESDROP-EVERYWARE” ^© SYSTEM

CURRENT RECORDING: POST-COITAL INTERCEPT  

SUBJECT: Volodymyr Zelensky (“Voloda”, “Vovo”) >>> March 28, 2026 >>>>

TITLE/JOB DESCRIPTION: None. Term in office ended May 2024. Rules by dictat.

LOCATION: Lotus Blossom bedroom, Presidential Palace. Kiev, Ukraine.

STATUS: So-so.

VENUE: Pillow talk with new “Economic Advisor” Chrystia Freeland. (Former Canadian Politician) >>>

 

FREELAND: “Ahhh! [Post-coitus] “I needed that, my sweet.” [Sits up to take cigarette pack from bedside table. Lights two. Hands cigarette to the president. Places ashtray atop her stomach. Smokes for a few minutes] “You haven’t lost your touch.”

ZELENSKY: “Ha-ha! Mee tooz, Chrisy, I…”

FREELAND: "Vovo, don’t call me that. Please. That’s what he... what Justin used to call me.”

ZELENSKY: “Still wit big elephant in room. More like bigz beaver! Canadianz beaver. Ha!”

FREELAND: [Chuckling] “Not so big. Just right, no?”

ZELENSKY: [Laughing] “Ha-ha! Yah. Juss righz.” [Flicks cigarette ash into ashtray. Lays on his stomach, smoking]

FREELAND: "He’s going out with that American singer, what’s her name? Kitty something. She’s half his age...”

ZELENSKY: “Kata Perry. She forty-one…”

FREELAND: “How do you know?”

ZELENSKY: “Olena has pile Vogue magazine in bathsroom. "I like her song ‘Roar’. Gives me boner all time I hears.”

FREELAND: “Hmph. For years he led me on, saying he would get a divorce. He’d gave me cabinet positions. I was his deputy prime minister, his finance minister—as if those made up for things. We made plans; I thought…” [Sobs for a while]

ZELENSKY: “Chrisy…Christeenez, you home now, babyz. Everybodyz love you; everyonez want you do good work for Ukrainey. Be good help to me…”

FREELAND: [Sniffling] “Are you still seeing her, that rat fink kraut, Annalena Bareass?

ZELENSKY: "Hey, c'mon. Be nize. She in New York. She president of UNs. She bigshot, now. She have no more time for Voloda. She is dare. You are herez. Das what count.”

FREELAND: "If only I could be sure. About you. About this. About us.

ZELENSKY: “Hey, truss me, sonecheko. You know you canz! [Leans over nuzzling her neck]

FREELAND: [Sits up. Opens laptop. Scrolls through emails] “Speaking of finks, Larry Fink got back to me. He says, [Clears throat] quote, ‘Blackrock will invest up to two-billion USDs in Zaporizhzhia nuclear plant once it’s back under Ukrainian control.’ And he’s sealed the deal with a finder’s fee of two-million-euros deposited into your Seychelles’ account, Vovo. I did good. Didn’t I, mylaska?” [Pats president’s bottom]

ZELENSKY: “Hmmm. Very goodz, solodka, good-good. An’ you is Missus Ten-Percent! Doan forgetz. Ha-ha!”

FREELAND: “Ha-ha! The money’s great, Vovo. And the sex…” [Sighs for a while] “I’m over-the-moon happy to be here! Yes, I am. I am.”

ZELENSKY: “Sweetyz, wha’ ‘boutz diss EU loanz? For jetz. We doan has many plane lef can flyz in Ukrainey airfarce. How you like idea of we getz diss money from Rutte and buy chaletz in Swisslands, yes? Jus’ for us twos.” [Stands and puts on his bathrobe] “Yah. Dat be nice. No?”

FREELAND: “You look like Sylvester Stalone in that that boxer movie. Maybe not as tall but…”

ZELENSKY: “Oh yah!” [Gestures with fists in air] “Call me Rocks! Rocks Balboaz! ‘It ain’tz ‘bout how hardz you hits. It ‘bout how hards you can getz hit an’ keep move forward.’ Right, Adrian? Ha-ha-ha!”

FREELAND: “You’re such a goof, Vovo, that’s why I love you!”

ZELENSKY: “Eh? Oh, yah. I loves you too, babys-doll. For sures!” [Uses house phone to order breakfast] “You wants egg over easyz, sweetpies? Like you were las nights. Ha-ha!”

FREELAND: “I think scrambled. That’s how you make me feel when I’m with you. [Laughs, lies back. Lights another cigarette, blows smoke rings, lost in thought. Zelensky finishes their breakfast order. Hangs up and goes to bathroom to urinate. Freeland calls to him] “Vovo, what’s going to become of us? What if Putin sends his troops west to Kiev. Or if he takes Odessa, this spring. Or both…What will happen…?”

ZELENSKY: “Doan worrys. [Flushes toilet] “My luf, you be gone in few weeks. Go to Oxford." [Returns to bedroom, brushes his hair in mirror] “Raise new chicks be like you. You do that over there. Here, we fights Russia. Like always.”

FREELAND: “But about you, Vovo. Will you be safe?”

ZELENSKY: “Olena, Kyrylo and I have jet fueled and readyz. Oleksandra studys in Paris. We okays. Doan worrys."

FREELAND: "Your wife. Your family…I wish we were a family, Vovo! You can’t deny you feel the same! [Butts-out cigarette. Begins to cry softly.]

ZELENSKY: “Eh? Hey-hey, Dreamboatz. But, you have happy life wit what-his-head, no?”

FREELAND: [Sniffling] “Graham. Yes. And my children. But, it’s not like you and me. It’s so exciting with you, Vovo. You’re…”

ZELENSKY: “Hey-hey, Sweetx, life is no box chocolates. We spend timez togethers when we canz. To think ‘bout whatz should have been make you crazyz. You knowz diss. Let eat us our breakfast and plan how we spend diss new monies coming our way soons. Yah? Yah sure! I hear slow poke Opa in hallway rattle breakfast cart now. [Opens door] Hey! Hurrys up, Opa!”

FREELAND: “He’s not your real grandfather, is he, Voloda?”

ZELENSKY: “Yah, sure is. All my familyz work for me heres in president palace and Kiev. Fadder, Mum, cousins, unkles. Oh, yah. Who you goan trus, mostly?” [Zelensky’s grandfather pushes the cart into room. Wheezing loudly]

OPA: "Doan worry, missus,” [Freeland drapes sheet to cover herself] “I seen it all before. Many times! Let me tel.."

ZELENSKY: “Tanks Opa, now get outs.”

OPA: “I go, I go. If your fadder could see you…” [Zelensky kicks door shut]

ZELENSKY: [Under his breath] “I think maybez I send him to front.” [Aloud] “He has big moutz. Nevers mind him, Darlinks.”

FREELAND: “He’s got your smirk. I can see the family resemblance…”

ZELENSKY: “And he gotz Zelensky dickx!” [Zelensky displays his manhood] 

FREELAND: [Laughs] "Oh you! Put that away and pour me a coffee. I'm starving! [They uncover their dishes and begin to eat breakfast in bed]

FREELAND: "You know, these eggs are as good or better than the ones I had in Moscow…”

ZELENSKY: [Zelensky stops eating a mouthful of toast and eggs] “Moscow? Whenz you go dare? Why?”

FREELAND: “Eh…er...last week.  I go there sometimes when the kids are on March break. They usually go camping with Graham. I…”

ZELENSKY: “What you do dare, Cherrie? Who you know dare?”

FREELAND: Well, Vladimir…”

ZELENSKY: “Vladimir? Vladimir Putin?! You see Putinz? Whys?”

FREELAND: “I’ve known him a long time. Since the 1990s. We met when I was Moscow bureau head for the Financial Times. He’s an old friend. We get together now and then…”

ZELENSKY: “You see Putin! Why? Howz?”

FREELAND: "I knew him long before I met you, Vovo. I hate what he’s doing to Ukraine. But he’s a man. He’s charming and…”

ZELENSKY: “Charmsing! Like snake-charmer is charmsing!”

FREELAND: “I knew you'd react this way. I wish I hadn't told you, now. He’s changed over the years. He was boyish back then. Carefree. All he wanted was to practice law. But party politics drew him in. I guess he caught the bug. We would argue about it sometimes. He used to live in a houseboat on the Moska River. Believe it or not…"

ZELENSKY: “I doan believes anytings any mores…”

FREELAND: “Don’t be like that. You asked me and now I’m telling you. We’d spend time on his boat. We’d argue then make love and argue some more. We were young. It was the times. Ha-ha! I was always afraid of how sound carries over the water. Hah-ha! I said one time that the KGB might be listening. He laughed and said it’s called the FSB now. He said he was the FSB. He wasn’t a communist. Never had been. The country was changing back then but there still were many supporters of the old regime. Vlad was a progressive. He loved riding, hunting, fishing, the arts, literature. He even wrote me poems. I-I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It’s just that I’m a woman. I have needs. I…”

ZELENSKY: “Look, I no fresh bloom either, my lovez. But when we in Lotus Blossom bedroom, da res of world is out dare. In here is jus us. Yah? I…” [Zelensky's grandfather knocks and opens the door, shouting] 

OPA SELENSKY: “Hey, hot stuff, we gotta go. Russian missiles are inbound! By the saints, hurry up! Get dressed! We gotta get to the bomb shelter. Now!” [The sound of alarm bells can be heard nearby]

ZELENSKY: “Cool jets, Opa. Putin never launches attacks before lunchtime." [To Freeland] "Darlinks, not to worryz. It always a false alarm. I gotz Putin by the ballz! Oh, yah! We got plenty time. Les you and me work on getting EU loan. Ninety-billion-bucks, babyz! We could buy an island jus’ for us. Lie on beach. Get tanz all over, sand in our cracks, champagne and caviar. Good times, yah?”

FREELAND: “You make my head spin, Vovo. You’re a Svengali! I wanted to make you jealous, to make you see me like a man sees a woman. I want all or nothing. Oh, I’m like a silly schoolgirl around you!”

ZELENSKY: “Yah-yah!” [She dresses while Opa Zelensky gives her a thumbs up and several winks]

FREELAND: "I wanted to make you jealous—jealous of Vlad. I guess I wanted to make him jealous, too. I…That's why I told him about us, Vovo, about our weekend together. In Camelot, I said. It’s like a dream to me. I wish I hadn’t told him about us, about hooking-up with you…" [Sniffling as she picks up her laptop]

ZELENSKY: “Hey-hey, babez. It be all right soon. You see. Er…. You say you tell Putinz ‘bout us? Why you do diss?! Maybe he more jealous of you. Ever think diss? Maybe he try kill you. And me, ‘cause I wit you. Russians are too hot-bloods. Almos as hot-bloods as Ukrainees. Chrisy, maybe he track our phones right now. Oh fuck! Leaves phone and laptop, Sweetpizz. We need getz to shelter. Now. Come on, Opa, move out of way." [Zelensky pushes past his grandfather. Freeland helps Opa ZELENSKY wheel his breakfast cart to the elevator] FREELAND: “Faster, Opa. We haven’t much time! I can't believe this is happening. I had no idea Vlad would do this!" [Shouting] "Wait for us, Vlad! I mean Voloda.”

OPA ZELENSKY: [Winking] “I go all da way with you Christie! Push-push. All da way. "

 

 

CHEERS, JAKE.

_____________________________________

 

 

RANT: BIRDS OF A FEATHER

THE OTHER DAY, I WAS IN A COFFEE SHOP waiting for my car to be repaired, and as I sat mulling over how much the brake job would cost me, I became aware of a conversation between two men at a nearby table. One came across to me as some kind of social worker or a self-help coach, or psychologist, judging by the language he used. The other man seemed to have had some trauma in his life, recent or long ago I never learned. At one point he said he was “stuck”, unable to move on and finish with whatever it was binding him to the past. The other man would try to guide the conversation along more optimistic views of the future. He spoke about acceptance and gently (it seemed to me) tried to guide the other man in this direction. He gave the example of being in the downtown branch of our public library and sitting in a different section from the one he normally chose. There he noticed how interesting and ‘new’ the library seemed, and all because of one small change in his routine. The conversation continued until the man who was ‘stuck’ said: “I want to tell my story, but I want it to have a beginning and an end.” I think many of us wish the same when we read what’s happening in the news lately. We want to ‘bookend’ events in Ukraine and Gaza, Iran, etc., and let them fade in the rearview mirror. Dear readers, would we be so lucky!

 

RECALL that “technical” discussions with Iran were to have taken place in Geneva, if memory serves, on Monday, March 2 of this year. But (surprise, surprise) on February 28, the U.S. and Israel, under the cover of upcoming negotiations, began air assaults once more in Iran. This time the Islamic Republic was better prepared than it was for the June 2025 attacks, when Israel launched a similar attack, also under cover of pending negotiations. At that time, Israel took a pummeling from Iranian drones and missiles until an all-too-possible scenario—a threat by PM Netanyahu that he will use nuclear weapons to defeat Iran. To avoid this terrifying possibility, Trump* authorized the United States military to launch an attack against several Iranian nuclear research facilities, neatly ‘book-ending’ June’s “Twelve-Day War.”That was last year. Let's see what this year brings to the Middle East.

FUN TIMES have begun in the fin de siècle of the American empire.

 

I APOLOGIZE for not having written as much in the past few weeks. Every time I’d write something in this digital journal of mine, events would overtake things, and in a generally disheartening manner. We are living in perilous times, folks. SO, it’s time to prime the pump and hop to it!

 

    Hormuz Strait before 28 Feb 2026

👉THE WORLD AWAITS the outcome of the latest ultimatum, as per President Trump’s Truth Social screed, where he gives Iran a few days’ grace to 'come to its senses' and sign onto a fifteen-point peace plan that includes opening the Straits of Hormuz. On Thursday Trump announced a further extension by ten days for peace talks to continue. BTW Iran’s Foreign Minister disavows the very existence of talks and says Iran will continue its missile barrages of Israel and several of the Gulf States that allow over-flights of their territories by American and Israeli war planes or assist in logistics and so on. As it stands, this key “chokepoint” in the world’s supply chain at the neck of the Persian Gulf, where over 20% of the world’s oil and petroleum distillates passes each day, remains virtually closed, save for the Chinese tanker fleet, and fleets from states not involved in supporting the American attack, and—YCMTSU—Iranian oil exports! The Chinese (and other nations, particular BRIC nations), may simply ignore Trump’s tariff regime imposed on any nation that trades with Iran. Their ships pass through the strait after paying a new transit 'fee' to Iran. But ships aligned with Israel or the United States are blocked. There remains the complex and complicating matrix of Western financial networks of insurance, international payments and banking arrangements that the U.S. uses as a cudgel against countries that can't punch back. But times are changing.

 

 

Hormuz Strait after 28 Feb 2026

👉One way to lessen the exposure to dollar-based transactions is to trade in local currencies, like the  Chinese Renminbi (RMB), and evade being tied to the global financial system that has the USD as its reserve currency (for now). One would have thought Iranian oil would be top of the list in the American oil sanctions scheme. So, why has the U.S., in the last few days, lifted its sanctions on Iranian oil? The answer is the knock-on effect of the Islamic Republic closing the Hormuz strait, something Iran said it would do if its own oil and electrical grid were targeted by Israeli and American bombs and missiles. THEY WERE TARGETED in the weeks following the 28 February 2026 resumption of hostilities. 

And here we are FAFO, with oil prices per barrel up about 30%, which, of course, means the price of just about everything can be expected to rise in tandem with the world’s most important natural resource. [I’d pick potable water as number one, but that’s just me. Ed.]

Trump lifted his tariff regime on Iranian oil In order to keep the price of oil on world markets as low as possible. He's also, more quietly, lifted tarriff restrictions on Russian oil in tankers at sea, allowing them to deliver their oil without additional costs for the importing country being incurred via the American tarriff regime [About which Jake says his head hurts trying to understand how the Americans have gotten away for so long with a scheme that looks a lot like like an extortion racket! Ed.]  And if Iran is successful in ‘pinching off’ Gulf oil exports, analysts predict the price of oil could skyrocket to over $200 per barrel, tanking economies that are used to a bbl price of between $60-80. So, no doubt thinking of the midterm House and Senate elections this November, Trump wants to keep the sticker-price shock for Americans to a minimum when they fill their gas tanks this fall. Ergo, lift sanctions and bring more oil onto world markets, thus lowering the price at the pumps. So let's see..no let's hope for a peaceful resoultion to the conflict and that the assholes in charge don't blow up the planet. 😆

 

👉FUN FACT—In Gaza a few days ago as of this posting, troops from the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) stand accused of “torturing” an eighteen-month-old toddler “to exert pressure on the father during questioning.” Jawad was detained by the IDF for ten hours before being released into the care of the Red Crescent Society. His father, Karim Abu Nassar, remains in custody. (Don't these jihadi terrorists know they're not supposed to take children under two years of age with them on missions; that's what terrorist daycare centres are for!)

 

The Israeli soldiers are accused of using a nail to puncture a hole in one of Jawad’s legs and burning his other leg with a lit cigarette. Unfortunately, “[t]he ICRC has not issued a statement regarding the matter and rarely does so absent an investigation,” (Common Dreams), so we can’t confirm the health status of the child when he was brought into Red Cresent care, though an “unspecified medical authority” confirmed the wounds are genuine. Also, Palestinians at the nearby the al-Maghazi refugee camp in central Gaza witnessed some of the abuse.

👉AMID the many war crimes Israel has commited since 7 October 2023, and continues to inflict in Gaza (and the West Bank and elsewhere) despite a so-called ‘ceasefire’ that’s supposed to be in place since October of last year but instead comes with over 600 killed and 1600 wounded, all military operations, of course, conducted with the frenzy and mayhem we’ve come to expect from IDF storm troopers forces—nevertheless those pieces of shit still surprise me with the level of cruelty they are capable of exhibiting. How low can they go? It's not a limbo dance, after all.

 

👉FUN FACT: One guaranteed to slap your face with a wet fish comes in a recent judicial decision made in Israel. Recall in 2024 when five israeli military prison guards were charged with abusing a Palestinian prisoner, sodomising him with foreign objects to such an extent that he cannot walk due to the internal damage his body was subjected to by guards who would have come in handy shovelling bodies into ovens at Auschitz. All charges, including rape, which normally carries a hefty sentence, were dropped by the Military Advocate General Maj. Gen. Itai Ofir. 

Sweet. What a 😒 surprise. 

👉But not to worry, someone was charged in the gang rape at the Sde Teiman military base in southern Israel, in 2024, namely  Maj. Gen. Yifat Tomer-Yerushalmi, the former Military Advocate General of the Israeli Defense Forces. She's been charged, and could face significant jail time, for leaking the video of the incident, acting as a whistle blower and hanging out for all to see the dirty laundry of the self-proclaimed "world's most moral army".  YCMTSU!😂

 

KARMA will be a bitch in the not-too-distant future. Stay tuned.

 

 

CHEERS, JAKE. ____________________________________________________ 

 

P.S. Just so you know, several countries are facing oil shortages as a result of the blockade. India has less than two weeks supply of oil in its strategic reserves, for example. And other critical supplies like fertilizers need petroleum feed stocks. In the Northern Hemisphere it's planting season and farmer organizations predict lower yields across the board, even if oil shipments returned to normal. (If ever.)

 

* Who knows, it may be the Epstein files and the threat of exposure that forced the U.S. president to send high-altitude stealth bombers to Iran at the end of June last year. There may be similar threats this time as well to force Trump to stike out in full force against Iran to win the war for Israel. But don't hold your breath. Iran is a formitable opponent with lots of fight left. Let's all wait for the other shoe to drop.