SPECIAL STUDENTS GRADUATION DAY

 

 

    Justin and "Vulva"

AP—Huddlenutts, Ontario Canada. Mrs. Rhodes Elementary Class.

 

"TWIN BROTHERS, Justin and Volodymyr ("Vulva"), who were separated at birth are at last reunited decades later at this "special" graduation ceremony where these two finally ‘make the grade’, receiving twin diplomas in our Beezer Heights Elementary School Special Class “Summa cum laude” category. These two twins, so alike physically and academically, have lived vastly different lives on different continents—one lived his whole life in Canada. Justin was raised in a Catholic family as the son of a wealthy Quebec lawyer who was our fifteenth Prime Minister, Pierre Elliot Trudeau. His 'son', Justin, carried on the family tradition by becoming our 23rd Prime Minister in 2015! 

His twin, Volodymyr, who uses “Vulva” as his nom de guerre, was raised by Jewish parents in the Dnipropetrovsk Oblast of central Ukraine, an ocean and half a continent away! Vulva, in a remarkably similar life path, became President of his adoptive country, Ukraine, in 2019. These boys were world’s apart, yet somehow their lives were always interconnected. Whether it's by chance or providence, ours is not to wonder why. We can only marvel at how the fickle finger of fate points (and occasionally prods!) us in its mysterious and unfolding ways.

 

    A striking resemblance!

WHO FATHERED the two boys and how they came to be separated is not known at this time. BUT a recently surfaced archival photo of Justin as Prime Minister alongside a picture of an unnamed soldier, possibly Cuban, may be a clue. The resemblance between them is telling. Equally telling is the resemblance the soldier has with Vulva, right down to their love for facial hair and khaki green uniforms! 

JUSTIN, who spent his early, formative years in Mrs. Rhodes' Special Students Class, will today be awarded an honorary degree alongside Vulva, his long-lost and now much-loved twin. It should be noted that synchronicity exists between the two boys’ in the type of education they received growing up. Vulva thrived in “special” education classes in Ukraine, though he never completed Grade Eight. Just like his brother in Mrs. Rhodes's class!

THUS, on this happy occasion, Principal Piffle, myself, and the Beezer County School Board offer our heartfelt congratulations to both boys who, as grown men, step boldly across life’s stage. For their work, they can proudly receive all of life's laurels including this "Certificate of Completion" for technically passing Grade Eight's challenging curriculum. You are winners, the both of you. Bravo, gentlemen! Bravo!"

 

—Arnald Triffart, Chairperson. BCSB, 2025.