Bromance Still Hot!
ANN—CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER JUSTIN TRUDEAU and
Volodymyr Zelensky, erstwhile president of Ukraine, have shared the world stage
for nearly three years. Both leaders came out to fame during the Russo-Ukraine
conflict, where their rock-hard postures on the war—from sending unlimited amounts of arms
and money to Ukraine, to their stiffening resolve in fighting countries that invade
other countries—have made their names roll off the tongues of millions of
admirers. “Aftershave News” recorded their “hot mike” encounter, this June, at the G-7 meeting held in the romantic resort town of Fasano, located in
the beautiful Apulia region along Italy’s “Golden Heel” Adriatic coast.
Ukraine President Volodymyr “Vulva” Zelensky (VZ)
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (JT)
Barry (B)
VZ: “Justeen! Listen, my bro, my friend. I think this cat is bagged, no? Let’s get party started, babee! Jus' like song. I wanna dance! Cum’on! We go.”
JT: “You’re so cute, Vulva. I can’t wait to blow this pop-stand and hit
the hot tub! I’ve got some wicked weed that will blow your mind! I have a
prescription for it—for my nerves!” [Laughter] “Say, who’s your friend? He's cute.”
VZ: “This is Barree. I meet him in sauna. He ezz one cool dude! And real
handful!” [Makes gesture with his hands.]
JT: “Oh my! Well, hello, Barry. How are you liking the conference so
far?”
B: “Howdy, Prime Minister.”
JT:" Call me Justin. All my friends do.”
B: “Howdy, Justin!”
VZ: "Barree, he American”
JT: "I could tell.”
B: "I’m from Texas, originally…”
JT: “Ride ‘em, cowboy!” [Giggling.] "Did you bring your spurs?
B: “As a matter of fact I did, but they got pulled at customs. But that’s okay, I like to spank my ponies before I brand ‘em!” [Slaps his behind. All
laugh.]
JT: "Well-well! Where did you find this desperate hombre, Vulva? He’s a
treasure!”
VZ: "Hombrezz? What ezz dis hombrezz, Justeen? Barree work for Unated
Stats Street Departmentz. Unders Antonezz Bliksen.”
JT: “I’ll bet he does, if Tony has any say in the matter" [Giggles.]
B: “All the boys in the State Department call him ‘Pinky.’" [Makes gesture.
All laugh.]
JT: “I’ve always thought so!” [Giggles. Then blushes.]
VZ:" Barree know strip clubz near hotel. Girls…"
JT: “Yuck!
VZ: “Cum’on, Justeen! It ezz fun. Jiggle, jiggle girl parts. Ezz fun. What
harm?"
JT: “Well, I don’t know…”
B: “This is ‘Donkey Dong’ night, Justin. Special this week. For the conference.”
JT: "Really!? I’ve heard of that. Isn’t it where…”
SECURITY: "Prime Minister. It’s time for your photo op with the rest of
the attendees.”
JT: “Merdre! Why can’t they leave me alone! Why can’t I be free to
express who I am? Why…"
B: “I'll text you the address, Justin. Give me your cell number.” [They exchange
phone numbers.] "Don’t worry, Donkey Dong only gets started after eleven. These
Eyeties really know how to put on a show!”
JT: “Too true. I feel so at home here. You have wonderful blue eyes, Barry.”
B: “Thanks. You’re not so shabby, yourself!” [Soft laughter.]
VZ: Hey guys, save itz for ladder. Well, cum’on Barree. First show starts soon! Justeen, we keep
seatz warm for you.”
JT: “You better, you little dickens!”
VZ: “What ezz deess dick end? Why you call me dis?”
JT: “You are adorable! How, I love you, Vulva! Until later, you two! Don’t start without
me!”
VZ: “We won’t. But hurry up!”
B: “Bye-bye.”
JT: “Kisses!” [Makes gesture with his hand.]
VZ: “Soon, baboonz!”
JT: “In a while, crocodile!”
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