RANT: WHAT'S A LITTLE OIL AMONG FRIENDS?

  

Get the New! and Improved! housewife-helper, K-Tell’s Trump-O-Manic!*

 

FRIENDS, watch how easily its blades shred any and all laws, rules of decorum and engagement, standards of statesmanship, international treaties, probity and diplomacy of all sorts. Its ergonomic design makes quick work of slicing and dicing those pesky treaties, agreements and contracts old and new. A must have for every authoritarian’s kitchen. On sale wherever fascism is on the march! Buy two and get the second one for half price! Going fast! Deal is good until Armageddon envelops the globe in a nuclear fireball. No refunds.

 

👉WELL, I GUESS most of us were relieved that TACO¹ Trump came through with his usual climb down from launching further missile and jet sorties against Iran on April 8/26. The two-week ceasefire is barely holding though. Israel, for its part, has redirected its war machine against Lebanon, the West Bank and Gaza² but particularly Lebanon, where its kill rate, some days, is comparable to last year’s genocidal onslaught against the Palestinian population of Gaza. In Lebanon, over 2,000 have been killed, (including 166 children) and 6,800 wounded, since the start of March, with Israel giving Lebanon the ‘Gaza treatment’, levelling entire villages and ethnically cleansing the Lebanese ever northward with the goal of creating a DMZ south of the Litani River. Israeli bombardments of the Lebanese capital, Beirut, are meant to destabilize the country and compel the government to disarm the Hezbollah militias, something, if attempted, would probably lead to civil war, which would be just fine with the Israelis; a dysfunctional Lebanon is one less competitor in the Levant and they get to hover up Lebanon’s offshore oil and gas reserves, as well.👍 

 

TRUMP claims to have phoned Israeli PM Netanyahu asking him to scale back his attacks on Lebanon. Bibi apparently said ceasing IDF attacks on Lebanon was not part of the ceasefire deal. So, bombs away! Yada yada yada…😉 Israel has said it is currently holding talks with Lebanon on “disarming Hezbollah”. [Hezbollah militias, like Iran’s missilery, are the only defences strong enough to stand against Israel aggression. Ed.] We’ll see how that goes, but is there anyone who believes a single word uttered by these fucks?🙎 

 

IN THE MEANWHILE, US VP Vance went to Pakistan last weekend to hold talks with the Iranians. He brought along Trump’s son of a bitch-in-law Jared Kushner and Trump golfing buddy Steve Witkoff, both of whom shouldn’t be anywhere near a negotiating table—and were specifically not invited by Iran given their duplicitousness in previous negotiations that were performative and a cover to launch surprise attacks on Iran (last June and February 28, this year). After a marathon bargaining session, Vance left Islamabad having failed to reach an agreement with Tehran.  

 

WITH THINGS SHIFTING so swiftly, I thought I would wait until Armageddon to file a final report, but my better angel convinced me to note a few of the twists and turns in this increasing shit-show brought to you by the Washington Inepts (a.k.a. “the Epstein Class”) and their entourage:

 

👉RECALL THAT IRAN Iran closed the Straits of Hormuz following the February 28 surprise attack by Israel and the United States, allowing only friendly countries or countries that pay a ‘transit fee’ safe passage through the Strait. Obviously, America and its allies (including most of the Gulf Arab states that host American military bases, most of which have closed BTW, perhaps permanently, following Iranian bombardments) are mostly excluded from the Hormuz unless they make some sort of arrangement with the Iranians. 

Iran’s action in the Hormuz Strait interdicts approximately 20% of the world’s petroleum shipments causing oil prices to rise and stock markets to fall. The United States responded, after last weekend’s ceasefire talks failed, by ‘blockading the blockade’😂 saying it will stop all ships passing through the Hormuz, including ships paying their way, so as to further squeeze the Iranians. 

Question: Will the U.S. board and capture Chinese or Russian ships, or French or British vessels as they enter and emerge from the Strait? Are they that foolish? And do they plan to stop Iranian registered ships? NOTE: Iranian oil added to world oil supplies and is crucial in keeping oil prices down. Most of Iran’s oil infrastructure remains intact for this reason. And Trump initially allowed Iranian oil to be shipped throughout the war so there would be no oil shortages globally affecting gasoline prices, and anger voters at home. 

👉Will Trump target oil refineries and fields in Iran if the conflict erupts again? This would initiate Iranian bombardments of the Gulf States’ infrastructure in those countries that continue to host American military bases and allow their air space to be used by American and Israeli warplanes. If Gulf oil is cut off altogether, a global depression by the fall would be inevitable, perhaps one worse than the Great Depression of the 1930s. 

IRAN HAD FOUR demands going into the the ceasefire between Iran and Israel/United States that went in force on April 8, wobbling like a bowlful of Jello on a train. Iran complained that Israel’s continued bombing of Lebanon was a violation of the ceasefire agreement. Israel said “Nah-uh” and Trump TACO-ed and did his usual nothing to restrain the Israelis. The Iranians brought up this issue up a major concern during the ceasefire talks with Vance.

 

Islamabad talks: Iran's major agenda items: 1. It has a right to enrich uranium to levels commensurate with use in a civilian nuclear industry. 2. Downsizing Iran’s missile force is unacceptable as Iran considers it a critical deterrent against attacks from Israel, a state that has (undeclared) nuclear weapons (between 90-200 warheads). 3. Return of Iranian frozen assets and removal of all sanctions that have for so long immiserated the Iranian population. 4. Accepting Iran’s sovereignty over the Hormuz Strait. These are Iran’s top four agenda items. There are others, including a cease-and-desist order stopping further Israeli aggression against Iran, but also their violence against Lebanon, Gaza and the West Bank.

HOWEVER, THE FACT THAT Trump sent diplomatic lightweights instead of a professional negotiating team to Islamabad suggests the U.S. president didn’t expect any breakthroughs last weekend and never really wanted any. Instead, the Americans are spinning the narrative that Iran was uncooperative during the talks, in order to justify their own, illegal war against Iran. 

👉The Iranians came to the talks with few expectations and left with no illusions.

 

THE BLOCKADE is only days old and already economies around the world are shaky. A prolonged blockade of the Strait, along with the American ‘counter’ blockade—if that is even feasible—may lead to a global recession, even a depression if vital supplies of Gulf oil, natural gas, fertilizers, urea, helium³ etc., are not reestablished.😰

 

The ceasefire is set to end next week, and the Iran War will probably reignite. More fun for West Asia, and for us too. So, drop your cocks and grab your socks! Hold onto your hats, too!

 

 

CHEERS, JAKE. _______________________________________________________

 

* Keep away from pets and children.

 1. “Trump Always Chickens Out.”

 2. “Since the ‘ceasefire’ in Gaza took effect six months ago, Israeli attacks have killed at least 738 people and injured more than 2,000. In total, since launching its genocidal war on Gaza, Israel has killed or injured at least 10 percent of the enclave’s population, killing more than 72,000 people, the majority of them women and children, and injuring at least 172,000 others, with thousands more buried under the rubble and presumed dead.” (Al Jazeera) And lest we forget: Israel has bombed Gaza thirty-six out of the last forty-days.

3. Helium is rare on earth. It is created by the natural radioactive decay of heavy elements like thorium and uranium. The world’s largest deposits are found in the South Pars and North Dome gas fields in the Persian Gulf seabed. It is used to make semi-conductors, and for high-tech, medical, and aerospace applications. 

 

p.s. There are some hardliners who seek to revoke Israel’s membership in various international organizations, athletic events or things like EuroVision. I disagree. I think Israeli athletes, entertainers, etc., should be allowed to attend all venues. However, their participation should be limited to silently hanging their heads in shame.

 

"Egads! What have we done!"