RANT: THE END IS NIGH: DUMFUK IDEAS

 

I CERTAINLY DON’T WANT to step on anyone’s toes or rain on anyone’s parade. Neither do I wish to make light of how our (almost) infinitely creative monkey brains can conceive novel forms of technological expression. I’ll not look askance at the marvelous and magical things our intelligence, along with opposable thumbs, creates from nature’s bounty of minerals milled from the earth’s rocky mantle and those taken from its waters and gases, and of the stores of primordial energies pumped from beneath our feet. Some say our creations will last ages beyond humankind’s lifespan and that, someday, far-distant, future entities will stand (or ooze, or flap, or slither) in awe of we who came before.

BUT I MUST SAY that our claim to future renown might be imperiled by some of the creations our technologies allow us to bring forth into the world.

Dear reader, we may have, as they say, “jumped the shark” here:

 

THE TECHNOLOGY has been around for a long time. I remember in the early 2000s when I got my first computer, how amazed I was at the images (no, not those) I could download and archive from all over the world. I could curate pictures of places I’d never been to and never would see directly with my own eyes. Now, they’re at my fingertips. I currently have lush, green, terraced farming fields of central Indonesia on my desktop monitor. It’s nice.

    Fonzie Prepares to Jump the Shark

“Digital windows” (DW), were the next leap forward in the technology, but they were little more than glorified wall posters. Now we have programmable windows for our walls—liquid crystal displays writ large—not wall-mounted big-screen TVs but something that is meant to imitate a window on a wall where no window could ever go. I suppose, with some engineering, you could even mount a digital window over an actual window if you didn’t like the view.* 

A COMPANY called LiquidView supplies sumptuous settings from around the world using a streaming app that displays vistas as realistic as if you were looking out a real window. A high-definition camera records 24-hours of “content”, streaming video directly to your ‘window’, be it in a basement, a claustrophobic office setting, or a crowded refugee shelter. And the display time matches your location. 8a.m. in Toronto displays 8a.m. atop the Bayon temple in Angkor Wat. The world is at your fingertips, my friend.

The CEO of LiquidView says he wants his brainchild to “give the ability for anyone in the world to change their view, anytime.” And as one digital window owner put it: “You never know what you might see. It really is the future.”  

Folks, if that’s our future, then it’s probably time we followed those lemmings off the cliff. Our day is done. We’ve peaked. Fake views from fake windows! Faking reality at the push of a button. If you don't like what you see, just change it to something else. If that’s the future, where do I get off? Well, the heck with it! I'm going for a walk in the woods, just to have a change of (real) scenery.

 

The DUMFUK IDEA OF THE MONTH award goes to LiquidView! Great job, guys!

 

 

Cheers, Jake._____________________________________________________________

 

* Architects have wet dreams, apparently, about designing houses with the smallest number of windows possible. This allows their creativity to go wild planning interior rooms and floor plans without having to work troublesome widows into the design. Digital windows could make their dreams a reality. Go for it! I just luv the idea of living in a box and flipping my view of the world on and off like a light switch! Makes me feel connected to life and reality and stuff. [Aside: Will landlords be able to charge rent for a room “with a view”? Even if it's a digital one? Technically, it’s true. Ed.]

But, wait! There are energy savings, you say. Without an actual window, there’s more insulation per square metre of wall space. Maybe. But energy is needed to run the DW and streaming-service (not to mention the costs of such a service, and repairs and maintenance, and mining all those "blood minerals" and rare earth metals used in manufacturing the display thingy). In the end, DWs might not get their Green bona fides. 

And what about computer hackers hacking your view of the Grand Canyon as purple twilight comes across the western sky? Do you want to look out your digital window and see Dumbo-sized ass-cheeks streaming 24/7? Just sayin’.  

 

 

 

Borneo. 2013. Forest cleared for palm oil plantation. Stranded orangutan clings to remaining tree. (View for digital window #1234.)

 

 

 

 

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