ZELENSKY-WHISPERER INTERVIEW

 

Interview transcript with “Zelensky-Whisperer” Professor Artoro F. Pifflensky, DVM.

KEY:

PP:  Professor PIfflensky

I: Interviewer (David Vanderesque, "Ukraine Today" English language podcast)

 

I: Thank you for joining us today, Professor Pifflensky, it’s…

PP: Pleaze,  pleaze! No names, pleeze! No-no. No name. Is better that wayz. My client, they call me "Seeker" becoze that what I do. I seek out, tame trouble of mind, of body, too. And, off record, Davidski, it is some alimony owing I have, so no use my name in article, eh? You know how dat goes. Call me Professorz Seeker, if you like.

I: Ummm. Very well, er, Professor, may I call you Professor?

PP: Yah-yah. Shour-shour. Go headz, Davidski. You ask. I ansourz.

I: Very well. Professor, for our audience to understand, what exactly is a “whisperer” and how did you come to be President Zelensky’s personal "whisperer"?

PP: Davidski, thanks you for queshon. I ben ask many time what dis is. Davidski, ave you evar seen Hollywood moves with Amer'kan aktor Roberts Redford, "The Horse Whispers"?

I: I don’t think so.

PP: Yes-yes. That moves with Robert Redfords. So hansome. Great hairz! He train wild horse. Talk and listen to horse. Calm horse. Later he pokey-pokes with beautifulz Skarlett Johansson. Or maybe was Kristen Scotts Thomaz. She play mother. Hotz! I forget. Anywayz many love scene. Lot of slap and tickle. Yah-yah. Good moves!

I: So, Professor, are you saying you train President Zelensky.. like a horse?

PP: No-no, Davidski. You talk wrong, but your eyes tell trutz. No, Davidski, I whispers to Presidentz in ear—not shouts or threaten with bomb and missile. Calm-like. Quiet talk. Stroke face. Hair. Pat flanks. Soft-soft. Feed treats.

I: You feed the President treats, Professor? What kind?

PP: French pasty most time. He  like dose.

I: But what does a “whisperer” do exactly, Professor? Why is President  Zelensky here  on your ranch as we speak?

PP: Davidski, when horsez act up. When won’t take saddle, or bitz, when dey kick trainer, then I comes. I talk wit horse. Makes feel calm. Gives special feeds. Special treat. Horse learn trust me. I pat flanks. Breathe in nostrils. Then careful, I mount and probe inside for special hurtz or fear that make horse crazies. Some horse take more probe treatmentz than others. Sometime, it take long time. Or maybe short times to calm horse and make okay for trainings. Depend on horse. You see?

I: But, Professor, you’re talking about training, about calming, a wild horse. How can you do the same for humans?

PP: Davidski, your gums, they dark. You grinds molars. I hear. It mean your blood flow is clog up. You need loosen pelvis to relax you. Do your teeth ache? Breath bad?

I: No. Ummm. Professor, how did you become President Zelensky’s  personal whisperer?

PP: Easy. President wife, Olena, she ride horse from my paddock. Ever see her ride, Davidski? Such great calves. Grip horse tight. Squeeze like vice. Yah-yah. She fine woman and rider, too. She hear what I do and ask me help Presidentz Zelensky who very sad. Mope all time. He loses big-time in war to Russians and new Amer'kan presidenz hate him. He need my helps.

I: How is that going, Professor? How is the President?

PP: Good-good. He learn to take bit the other day an…

I: Excuse me, Professor, did you say “bit”? Do you mean to say you put a bit in the mouth of President Zelensky? Why?

PP: Davidski, how can I ride horse without bit and bridle and saddle? I not Apache warrior from Amer'kan moviez who ride horses bareback! Hah-hah!

I: What’s a typical day with the President? Have you cured his melancholy? Will he return to the capital soon? The country needs him.

PP: Davidski, men need horse in past to ride far distance, yah? To pull plow, to do works too hard for the peoples. Today, we no need horse so much. They lose purpose in life that human once give them. Makes for sad horses, you understands? That where I comes in. I make horse happy to be horse. Give special feed, treats. Soon horse love  me. I love horse back. Give loving horse to trainer. Mission accomplish! You see?

But with Presidentz, everybody need him for so long. Now, not so much. Like horse he lose purpose in life. My job is gives him something to do that he like. To feel like old self.

I: Such as?

PP: Like long walk at sunset. Good food. Wine. Roll in hay. All sortz thing. Always-always, though, talk soft-soft. Pat flanks. Earn trust. Then, mount and probe, and soon…

I: Professor, what do you mean by “mount and probe”? You mentioned this earlier.

PP: Yas, well. See, special horse, they get special treat and treatments. Presidentz Zelensky take bit now, like I say. Soon I mount and ride him. He buck for time. Then calm. Enjoy what I do for him. Learn to like. Then love. Then he cures.

I: Professor, are you saying you mount and ride the President like he was a horse needing to be tamed?

PP: Needing to be loved, Davidski. I love him. He love me back. His pelvis open. Blood flow. He all better. You see. He go Kiev. Win war. You see.

I: I know self-love is important for self-esteem and confidence-building, Professor, but riding President Zelensky like he was a horse seems the opposite t…

PP: Davidski, your pelvis too tight. I see. And your eyeballs is red and dry.

I: I have hay-fever. I’m allergic to barns, I guess. Hah-hah!

PP: (Whispering) I have special salve for dis. Come back to my workshop I get you somethink to loosens your pelvis and relax eyeballs. Do you trust me, Davidski, like Presidentz Zelensky does? Shour-shour, you come. I show you riding crop made from willow branches. Gentle but firm. No marks. Just tingle flanks like daddy-spanks. I use with President sometime. Shour-shour. Come. You see. Come, Davidski.

I:

 

Cheers, Jake.😆

 

 

EUROPEAN HAIR ON FIRE: GET YER POPCORN, SIT BACK, AND WATCH THE FUN!

 

IN THESE EARLY WEEKS of a second Trump presidency there have been a slew of Executive Orders issued from the Oval Office attempting change the course of the American ship of state. He sent billionaire developer, Steve Witkoff, to the Middle East to broker a peace deal even before he was inaugurated on January 20. And a deal with Netanyahu was made; the killing in Gaza (mostly) stopped, though the same can't be said for the West Bank where the IDF and militant settlers continue attacking Palestinians residents, if on a smaller scale than in Gaza. And there are the ongoing infractions by Israel of the ceasefire it has with  Lebanon, as well. 

WHETHER the ceasefire in Gaza lasts is another matter, though it is unlikely Trump will welcome a resumption of hostilities when he could be labelled a "war criminal" like his predecessor for supplying Israel the means to carry out its genocidal campaign against the Palestinian enclave. On Saturday, Hamas released three more hostages in compliance with the ceasefire agreement. So, let's keep our fingers crossed that Israel sticks to its side of the bargain. We'll see*  

👉AND DESPITE HIS 'CRAZY TALK about buying Greenland, annexing Canada😨, and re-acquiring the Panama Canal, Trump’s efforts in brokering a peace deal between Hamas is a positive change in American foreign policy.* As  are his recent initiatives  with Russia.

FOR ONE THING, Trump says he wants the war in Ukraine to end and the killing to stop. It’s been widely reported that he has been in talks with Russia’s President Putin and more talks are scheduled. And there are plans for Putin to meet with Trump in Saudi Arabia, the date of the summit yet to be confirmed. In addition, Putin has invited Trump to visit Moscow. There’s speculation the American president will attend the May 9 Victory Day Parade in Moscow, celebrating the WWII victory by the USSR over Nazi Germany (an achievement overlooked by most Western nations in these anti-Russia years). China’s Xi Jinping and Brazil’s Lula, and probably representatives from the rest of the BRICS nations also will attend. 

 

👉THERE are changes in the wind as seen by last week’s visits to NATO’s HQ in Brussels by the new American Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, and by the American Vice President, J D Vance, who spoke at the Munich Security Conference on Friday. Both men announced changes to America’s position vis-à-vis European security arrangements and support for Ukraine. Both presented new directions, with the American Sec of Def telling NATO representatives that Ukrainian membership in the alliance was “unrealistic”, as were demands made by Ukraine and its European supporters to restore the embattled nation to its “pre-2014 borders." Hegseth left his audience gob-smacked because the majority there have long argued this was a realizable goal. Hegseth also told the assembled delegates they must now supply “the overwhelming support of Ukraine” going forward. He concluded his talk with a sharp criticism: “Make no mistake, President Trump will not allow anyone to turn Uncle Sam into ‘Uncle Sucker’”. (Ouch!) Hegseth and the vice president announced, in essence,  the beginning of America's withdrawal from Europe.

 

    Get that man a bucket!

FOR HIS PART, VP J D Vance, at the Munich Security Conference, gave a speech criticizing Europe’s immigration policies and the clamp down of free speech¹ on the continent, topics which seemed out-of-place for the meeting. Needless to say, his words were not well-received by the audience, as we can see by the this photo.

 

 

    Nato chief Mark Rutte and U.S. VP J D Vance

(In sotto voce.) Rutte: "I'd like to crush your little hand into a bloody pulp, skiderik!" Vance: "I've bagged your nuts and put them in the deep-freeze, asshole!"

 Vice President Vance stressed the need for Europe to take more responsibility for its own defense, and his blunt message went over like a lead balloon. One political commentator suggests both Vance and Hegseth should have been more politic in their opening salvos signalling the changes ahead in the relationship between Europe and America. There should have been consultations before-hand to garner more ‘buy-in’ from America’s European partners. Trump's "shock and awe" politics certainly got the backs-up of all those 'arm-chair warriors' who were more than happy with the status quo. Boo-hoo.

 

IT WAS REFRESHING, nevertheless, to have something other than business-as-usual support for blood-letting in Ukraine. Mister Zelensky should warm up the presidential jet and prepare to bug-out with all the loot he’s swindled over the years. The writing is on the wall….

 

 

Cheers, Jake.____________________________________

 

* Though, last week he seemed to have put the kibosh to the deal he himself agreed to by demanding “all” the Israeli hostages be released by Hamas no later than “12 o’clock Saturday. Hamas has said it will abide by the ceasefire deal to release three hostages on Saturday. Feeling emboldened by the American president's Saturday deadline, Netanyahu sharpened the knives, saying he would order the IDF to once more bomb and invade the  Gaza Strip. As of this writing, he appears to have walked back his threat. I think Trump reined him in at the last minute, because, in the end, the American president does not want war in the Middle East. He has said so in the past. We'll see, going forward, if this holds true. FREE PALESTINE!

 

FUN FACT#1: In the most recent military aid package to Israel, Trump included a dozen or so MOAB munitions. These bombs come with an explosive force (EF)of 14 tons of TNT. [Of course, that pales in comparison to the first atomic bomb dropped over Hiroshima. That had an EF of 15,000 tons of TNT!] Why does Israel want MOABs? To blow up refugees inside tents in Gaza or the West Bank? That seems like over-kill. Are they for some other purpose? (Think: Iranian nuclear facilities.) Stay tuned.

 

FUN FACT#2: Last week, some fucktard decided to launch a drone attack on the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant. Remember that clusterfuk from 1986!? The drone damaged a portion of the metal sheath surrounding the concrete "sarcophagus" encasing the radioactive mess inside. No radiation was released, thankfully. But, let me guess who did it. Russia, right? Even though they are winning across the entire line of contact, with their goal of de-militarizing Ukraine well in sight. Why do such a dumfuk action? 

Of course it was Ukraine that's responsible for the attack. It's another example of how desperate and dangerous the Zelensky regime and its disintegrating army are to its citizens, to Europe (radioactive clouds, anyone?), and for global stability. Zelensky is a piece of 💩! No question!

 

1. It’s ironic, considering the clampdown by  American universities on students protesting Israel’s genocide in Gaza and its illegal incursions into Lebanon and Syria. The Trump administration is considering legislation to deport foreign students in American Universities who protest in support of Palestinian liberation. And speech laws are being enacted to make anti-Israel commentary a criminal offense, akin to antisemitism and a "hate crime". There is no similar clamping down on anti-Muslim or anti-Palestinian speech. [The Zionist donor-class in America that donates to the universities doesn’t like uppity students. Ed.]