OCTOBER CRINGE PIC

 

[READOUT OF MEETING BETWEEN PRESIDENT BIDEN AND UKRAINE PRESIDENT ZELENSKYY, SEPTEMBER 26/2024.] 

 

B: "Hello. Hello! Is this thing on. Let's get cracking, daddy-o, I've got to take a dump. Ready? Is the camera ready?Sunshine? Thumbs up? Okay. Let me see here. [reading] On behalf of the United States I want to welcome you, Voldemort Zelensky to the White House where we will discuss your future. We stand by you and blahblanblah, ecterta, zippy-do-da! Let's cut to the chase: "Why are you such a loser Voldemort? I took you in when no one wanted you, gave you everything you needed. I even  gave you the car keys and the first time you go on a joy ride you crash the thing! Jeeze Louise!"  

 

 Z: “Opa, I thought…”

 

B: “That’s the problem, Voldy, you never think!”

 

Z: “But…”

 

B: “No butts! No more ass-wipes. Christ! I hate them. They wipe me down all the time, these days. Don’t they know I’m President of the United States, the most powerful country the world...in the history of the world!”

 

Z: “Mister President, Opa, why can’t I have more missiles? I….”

 

B: “Gimmie, gimmie never gets, Voldy. You’re as bad as that other one, whats-his-name? Chas? Chuck? Hunter something. Lazy good-for-nothing…. What was I saying?  Oh, yeah. You can’t get everything handed to you on a silver…flat thing--a tray I mean. Tray! You need to earn it, Voldemort.”

 

Z: “It's Volodymyr, Mister President. But, I try, Opa, every day, but that Putin, he.…”

 

B: “Don’t ‘Putin’ me! Speakie Englisie, Voldymutt. You’re in the USA now, the most powerful country in the world, in the history of the world! I'm tired and I need a crap. Listen up, fats: When I agreed to take you on, I had my reservations, and not at my favourite restaurant, either! Ha-ha! But, enough laughs. Funny-boy, you need to listen for a change.”

 

Z: “I will, sir. I am listening and I will listen, but if you could just…”

 

B: “Butbutbut! You haven’t heard a thing I say, have you? An…and those damn flowers! Yellow and blue. Where do they get them from? Every time you drop by there's always those damn flowers. Did you bring them? They don’t even smell [sniffing flowers] huh.”

 

Z: “No, Opa. They were here already. I did not bring them.”

 

B: "So, listen. Listen, while I read this card: No more missiles until you clean up your act and get something done, and before the elections. Otherwise, it’s sayonara, as the Japs say.” Look, I gotta go. There's a new intern I want to take a gander at.

 

Z: “I will try, Opa, Mister President, sir.”

 

B: “Well, try harder, Moldymort! Get the job done! Zippity-do-dah-day. [President Biden stands.] I'm outta here! Hey, you, Cornpop! Where’s my ice cream? Chop-chop!”

[END OF TRANSCRIPT]