PEOPLE ARE FUNNY: SEXBOTS—THE FUTURE HAS ARRIVED, OR EARL GREY IS HOT (AND BOTHERED)

I caught the 2014 SiFi movie Ex Machina the other day on the tube, and my, oh my! that is one hot AI! Well, dream on, sir, I thought, you’ll be dead and buried long before technology overtakes the wet dreams of code warriors and your fellow net surfers alike. And then a recent article on the RT World News website reminded me that such things may be a lot closer than we imagined. Oh, to have the perfect woman (or man) that doesn’t spoil things by wanting to spoon afterwards! And, lo and behold— Sexbots! Be still my beating (human) heart! they're a step further down the path from those always-prone-to-deflating inflatables found in today’s sex shops, or the mail-order devices of my youth (ummm…perhaps that’s more information than need be shared), they are harbingers of the truly liberating—and fun!—tech innovations coming down the pipe in the next decade or so. I can hardly wait!

     We live in a world where human touch, from work and craft to physical intimacy has become passé and so Twentieth Century! I’m sure robot scientists will learn to mask the plastic and W-D 40 scents such creations still come with, along with developing smoother skin-like coverings and more natural body temperatures, with attention paid to the slightly warmer, ‘special’ parts which make things go a whole lot smoother. And with AI tech just around the corner, who’ll need Huxley’s “feelies” when we can go to the movies (if there are still movies to go to) with our main squeeze doll? And we won’t need anything like the crude Chatty Cathys with those “chatty rings” to pull and break. Soon we can choose our partners’ words and sighs and moans (or blissful silence!) from a convenient digital menu. Ah, serenity now! Nirvana! 
     Well, I could go on, but I want to go get my order in for the Beta models coming off the assembly line. Hey, what can go wrong? They come with a “satisfaction guaranteed or your money back” policy, don't they?

     The RT article cites the costs of a sexbot at around $11,000-$15,000. I wonder if that doesn't make economic sense? Over the course of a few decades, how much does it cost to keep a relationship going--financially cost? A heck of a lot more than 15 grand if divorce court statistics are any guide. I think investing in a sexbot now, might save you a pretty penny in the long run. Well, food for thought, anyway. (Gosh! If they'd only come with an instruction manual you can read! "Insert tab 'A' into slot 'B'." What the heck?)